The Way Things Should Work

2008-10-30 16:13:06 by ConAir

Let me propose a new, simple solution for how the internet should work. It's become increasingly apparent how gay click-throughs for sites like Yahoo have become. Obviously it's not just Yahoo, but I'll use it as the posterboy because it's a repeat offender. Let's say a new story on the front page catches my eye - Did the Philies end up winning the world series? I click on it, assuming the answer will stare me in the face on the next page, but no, I have to watch a fucking video with an advertisement in front of it and the question isn't even answered in the fucking headline! So some Yahoo analyst faggot talks for a few minutes and I finally get the answer I'm looking for, "Yes".

Sites make you jump through so many hoops just to get to a simple answer, so I've to the conclusion that this is how things should look from now on:

The Way Things Should Work


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2008-10-30 16:14:17

Yahoo Answers.....


2008-10-30 17:30:00

this is how newspapers work, this is how magazines work, this is how the 11pm evening news work etc etc. They hook you in... I actually find the ones on TV especially annoying, they always try to spin it like your life DEPENDS on it.

Stay tuned for our story on baby food, this COULD SAVE YOUR CHILDS LIFE.

In the end the report didnt even deal with anything life threatening and is actually rather mundane.

Anyway my point is that the tactic has been used since the beginning of time. Using it online is more or less just an extra instance of it now.

ConAir responds:

I guess I was going for more of a humorous post, I wish I would've developed it a little further. It always makes me think of those single-serving sites where it's just big black text on a white background, so I just applied that to real-world sites. Obviously, this technique has been around for ages, but it'd be hilarious if they reverted to this.


2008-10-30 17:38:16

Cock jokes will give you immediate satisfaction.

ConAir responds:

Ohhh yeah


2008-10-30 17:52:36

Very true. They should at least have the straight answer come first, then all the unimportant paragraphs after that. You know... "The short story" and then "the long story." That would make things much better.

ConAir responds:

It really would.


2008-10-30 19:55:53

Man I hate how people use a boatload of SOPHISTICATED LANGUAGE n shit to show off how great they are at journalism. Sometimes it's like COME ON- If you could just talk like a normal person I would've found what I was lookin for by now, but no; I have to sift through a load o fuckin metaphors n shit.
I'm a guy, the guy writing it's a guy, neither of us have ever used the word "congenial" in our lives. So why's he wrote it? Fuckin journalists


2008-11-06 07:59:15

The world's broken, Con-Con babycakes. The world is broken.